According to Merriam Webster’s dictionary, “Comparison is the act of finding out the differences and similarities between two or more people or things.
A popular saying goes thus, ” To compare is to despair”. I have found this to be entirely true. It’s unfortunate that now, we are living in a society where parents are under a lot of pressure to raise their children to conform to the “world’s standard”. While this is not entirely bad because you can use this a “yardstick” for measuring your child’s “growth”, it’s also important that we do not let ourselves lose and indirectly put pressure on our child. It’s best to identify your child’s strength and weakness and seek for ways to help your child. Suffice it to say that, when we identify his/her strength, ensure you always acknowledge that strength.
It is highly pertinent as parents that we should observe our child’s growth and progress and seek help when the need arises, rather than comparing their growth to that of their siblings or any other child’s growth.
When making comparisons, our intentions maybe good but our comparable actions are wrong.
Here are some negative effects of comparing our children. You wouldn’t want your child to experience the 4th reason;
• IT BREEDS JEALOUSY.
JEALOUSY is not a very healthy emotion to exude. It leads to hatred and this can cause aggression in children. The moment a child starts being aggressive, they start to take it out on their mates by picking up fights. It’s also important that we don’t forget, that the consequences of this might end up becoming a life-long problem for the kids.
• IT CAUSES LACK OF SELF ESTEEM.
It is very dangerous for your child to loose his/her self- esteem. This can turn the child into a recluse. The moment you begin to talk down on your child, be rest assured that you child will start feeling inferior, he/she begins to loose confidence in his/her ability. Your child begins to think that despite all the effort he/she has been putting in, you still don’t get to notice it and even acknowledge it.
• IT DAMAGES THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN YOU & YOUR CHILD.
There is always a relationship between children and parents. How you treat and care for your children goes a long way into how your children will perceive you. The moment you start to compare them, they will think that you don’t love them and start to avoid you. Sometimes, they can even start to withdraw because they do not want to further hurt you.
• DEPRESSION MIGHT SET IN.
Depression is terrible. It even affects adults, not just children.
Comparison is a joy killer, the moment a child begins to feel unloved, starts to shed a tear or two, there’s every likelyhood that depression has set in. So, it’s better not to let your child sink into depression in the first place because depression can lead to suicide.
• IT HIDES THEIR REAL TALENT.
The moment a child begins to feel unloved, sad, depressed etc, that child can’t bring out his/her best. Every child is unique. Not every child is meant to be a pharmacist, doctor, engineer, dentist, accountant etc. Some children are just skillfully talented. There are some children that will make fantastic footballers, some might be gifted in crafts, some could be in the area of singing…It’s best to always identify your child’s strength, nurture it and help them being the best at it. You’ll be happier for it.
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